[opening header: WORLD FORUM]

[raise up on a very small old man in a monk's robe. He is seated in a very high chair between two tables, each with a white tablecloth, microphones, glasses and water pitchers. Each table has two panelists seated behind it]

Cherry: Good evening. Welcome to World Forum. Tonight, we'll be having a panel discussion on William Jefferson Clinton's sexual misconduct. Mostly to boost ratings.

[camera focuses on each panelist in turn, moving stage right to stage left]

Cherry: We'll begin on the end with Chichiri, who has been following this story very very closely since the beginning. [Chichiri bows and brandishes his staff impolitely] Next, we'll be moving over to Kensuke-kun, who will go over the reaction both in Japan and around the world. [Kensuke sets down his video camera, bows, and waves] Coming over here, we'll have Urd-sama offer her views on the state of affairs in Washington DC itself. [Urd does something with her tongue that will later be removed by censors] Lastly, we'll have Ryouga-kun's opinions on what this means for the future of the Clinton administration. [gives a smile and flashes "V for Victory"]

[back on Cherry]

Thank you all for coming this evening.

Urd [off-camera]: Our pleasure.

Cherry: My lady, you're out of order. Chichiri-san, why don't you begin?

[camera focuses on Chichiri. He is seated on the table itself, dressed in long flowing robes. He sets his staff at his feet as he takes Cherry's toss]

Chichiri: Da! Bill Clinton was elected into office in 1992 and 1996, no da. In 1994, someone got wind that he and his wife had been misbehaving on a real-estate deal, no da. Enter a fish. Da! Kenneth Starr! Enter Kenneth Starr. Starr looks about for wrong doing on Clinton's part, no da. He doesn't find anything. But he looks and he looks and he looks, no da. Then the rumor mill says that Clinton was fooling around in the Oval Office, no da. Nothing new there, no da. But this time, Clinton tried to cover up the sex, no da. And the oral sex, no da. And the anal sex, no da. [Chichiri begins rocking back and forth in in a disturbing manner] And the phone sex, no da! And the cigar! And the semen-soaked dress! And Socks! Da! Da!

[camera returns to Cherry]

Cherry: Thank you, Chichiri-san, that was...enlightening. Now, then, Kensuke, what can you tell us about the international reaction?

[Kensuke stops videotaping Chichiri]

Kensuke: Hai! [ruffles through a stack of papers in front of him] Ano, earlier today I took a straw poll in Tokyo-3. It wasn't exhaustive...it was, actually...of two people. My friend's roommates. But they're both women. And, out of that sample...er...one said that Clinton-sama is a, quote, "pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert, and he's gonna get what he deserves, that lying son of a," unquote. That's one end of the spectrum. On the other end, one--OK, the other--person said that it wasn't a big deal, people sleep together all the time, but she still wouldn't give anyone head while they were speaking on the phone with Yassir Arafat.

[turns to Cherry. Studio view]

I'd have to say that the international reaction's been mixed. If you want my opinion, I think the only thing we can say at this point is that Iraq will be concave in under a week.

Cherry: Thank you very much.

[camera shifts to Cherry]

We now continue with Urd, Goddes of Lust, Leather and Lubricants. Urd-sama, what exactly is the mood in Washington DC right now?

[camera shifts to Urd. She isn't wearing clothing so much as she's in between pieces of clothing]

Urd: [breathy] Well...

[camera views of each member in turn. Cherry coughs, Chichiri sweat-drops, Kensuke and Ryouga both get nosebleeds. Then shift back to Urd]

Urd: The climate in Washington right now is so hot and sticky...it's a very sticky, sticky situation. You can feel the tension just wrapping you up, so so tightly.

[Kensuke is frantically clutching his nose. Chichiri is mubling under his breath]

Chichiri: Da! Da! Da! I'm a priest, no da! Da! Da!

[back to Urd. Beside her, Ryouga is stuffing the tablecloth up his nose hand over hand]

Urd: The Republicans have Clinton by the balls, and they're slapping away at him now, but I think Clinton's going to stand up, in the end. [she pulls the pitcher of water over and pours herself a glassful, then puts the pitcher back] The American public wants Clinton to give it another go, but only because the economy's pert and they're making money. If Clinton can take advantage of it, the right wing will turn tail. Clinton will be the last man standing, and then everyone will be bending over backwards for him.

[she dips her finger in the water and starts running her fingertip around the rim of the glass. camera returns to Cherry, who's sweating no little bit]

Cherry: Ah...thank you, my lady, for that..expose. Now, Ryouga- kun, would you care to wrap things up for us? What is the future like for Clinton-sama?

[things are now a little more under control, and Ryouga is threading the bloody tablecloth out of his nostrils. Fortunately, none is on his nice yellow outfit, though his headband looks kind of sweaty]

Ryouga: [bows] Thank you. I...

[beside him, Urd lifts up her arm to take a drink of water. Her elbow knocks into the pitcher of water. It spills all over Ryouga, and the predictable transformation happens]

P-Chan: Squeeeeeeee!

Urd: [somewhat forced surprise] Ah! Me! Did I do that?

[cut to Chichiri and Kensuke]

Chichiri: [pointing excitedly] "Squeal little piggy!" no da! "Squeal little piggy!" Like in "Deliverence" no da!

Kensuke: [videotaping] Yes, I think this is all we need to know about the future of the Clinton Administration...

[studio view. Cherry is looking into the camera]

Cherry: Until next week, when we discuss the Iranian-Afghani situation in the company of Tenchi and a few friends, good night.

[blackout]